I was raised in a Christian home and accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior when I was five years old. My grandfather was a pastor and baptized me when I was around 8. I had a relationship with Christ growing up and felt close with Him. When I reached Jr. High, I compromised my faith in order to fit in. I started to do things that I knew were wrong. I walked away from the Lord and started on a different path. I started to experiment with drugs and drinking. I lived for hanging out with friends and partying. It was fun and exciting.
When I was in High School, partying became my life. I became a very lost teen and gave my virginity away at a young age. I started to drink heavily at parties and dabbled in harder drugs. I would still talk to God at times and I knew he was with me; however, I didn’t want to acknowledge my sin and the life I was living.
Even though life was one big party, I was not happy. I felt empty and the relationships that I had felt empty. When I was a junior in High School, my mom started to consistently bring me to church. I would put up a fight, but she made me go. When I went to church, I would hear God’s words and it would speak to me. I would still party, but God was doing a work in my heart. One night I had smoked pot and became really high. I was dropped off at my house and went up to bed. I just had this very strange feeling. I tried to close my eyes and I could see dark images. It is really hard to explain, but it felt evil. I was super scared! I cried out to God to help me. As soon as I ask Him to help me, I was completely sober. The dark images were no longer there. It was like I could breathe again and I was able to go to sleep. When I got up the next day I had this really heavy feeling. I knew I needed to change. I knew that something had happened that I could not explain.
I recommitted my life to Christ, but it was not one defining moment. It was a bunch of smaller moments where I confessed my sin and told Jesus that I needed Him. I decided to reconnect with Christ and seek Him instead of my own path. I started to read my Bible again and chose to stay away from things that would hinder my walk with Him. My life started to turn around. It was not overnight, but God slowly showed me things in my life that needed to change.
I started to get plugged into church, serving in ministry, and even traveled to Peru on a mission trip. I joined a small group and made some lasting friendships. I feel a purpose in Christ and feel alive. I know what it is like to feel far away from Him and I don’t want to go back to that place. Life has not been easy or perfect, but with Christ I have been able to get through some difficult times. He also continues to transform me, and show me grace and mercy when I stumble.